White Dot

Warning: I will approach this discussion with as little judgment as I can muster.

Last week I picked up one of Mr. Man's 5yo friends so he could join us at the nature center for an educational program and a hike in the woods. We entered the family's home to be immediately greeted by the tv and an XBox with paraphenalia spread out on the living room floor. The 6 mo infant rolled about on the floor and the 5yo was upstairs in his bedroom. Different choices, I thought.

Before we depart the mother sprays her son with OFF! on the front porch while the friend discusses his mother's computer game character. "That's right - she gets enlightened," says the mother (referring to the action of the character in the game). Odd, I think.

We get the friend situated in his car seat in our car. I put the car in gear and the friend begins talking about the Simpsons.

Friend: "Do you watch the Simpsons?"

Mr. Man: "No."

Friend goes on about every character and how Bart is a brat and repeats Bart's favorite expressions.

Mr. Man is unresponsive.

Friend: "Do you have an XBox?"

Mr. Man: "No."

The friend begins reciting the games he has and the levels and worlds involved in each. He reports that he likes to play (some game), but how he needs four controllers to play with four people and he only has two.

Mr. Man, who has been silent through this litany says: "I have two controllers."

Friend, confused, says, "Wait, you have an XBox?"

Mr. Man says, "No, just a TV."

Mr. Man, of course, was referring to the two remotes for our TV and DVD - not XBox controllers.

After as many minutes as I can possibly stand of this friend's yammering about tv shows and XBox games, I turn on some children's music to engage him in something else. Mercifully, we arrive at the nature center for the lesson on spiders and then outdoors for a walk. The Friend won't stop and hunt for spiders. He only wants to keep walking - "to keep up with the gang." As our walk progressed he only wanted to stay on the paved pathway and did not want to take the trails through the woods for fear of getting lost. Mr. Man convinced him to go down a trail and we took quite a long hike. Ironically, the trails were not well marked, so I didn't really know when we were heading in the right direction and after 45 minutes I thought we might be stuck on a trail while the clouds threatened to open up. However, we made it back to the center and parking lot and I returned the friend home.

When we go inside, the mother is playing a video game on her laptop on the sofa in the living room. The father is holding the infant in his lap while watching the Sunday afternoon football game. I try having a conversation about our adventure, but the father makes little eye contact with me and continues watching the football game. Mother has paused her game and we exchange formalities.

Wow. I find comfort in the fact that Mr. Man doesn't know that the TV has any other purpose than to watch videos or DVDs (largely pre-screened by us). One day last week I was getting ready for work and I wanted to turn on the morning news to check the weather. I whispered such to my wife who was still lying in bed with Mr. Man (sleeping, I thought.) Totally deadpan, Mr. Man says "It's raining."

I'm not saying my kid is cooler than any others. I'm just thinking that the potential for him to be cooler exists because he doesn't have media feeding him ideas (bad ones at that) all day long.

I recently made my wife aware of TV-B-Gone and she has instructed me to order two - one for us and one for a friend who appreciates stealth activity. So, if you're sitting in a bar or at dinner and the boob tubes flickering around you suddenly diminish to a white dot, strike up a great uninterrupted conversation and enjoy the quiet.